if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
