she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
sex in a hospital.. check
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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