I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
