i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
