So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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