She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
