If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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