I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
