...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
