Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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