ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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