why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize