Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
