I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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