i don't like sucking hair
barbara walters just said penis...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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