so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
