yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
