I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
