Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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