I'd wear matching sweaters with you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
