neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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