Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
