Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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