You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
