this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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