Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
