I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
