this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
