Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
