I bet he comes in French.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
