She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
