I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
