Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
