Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
