we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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