Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
