you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
