he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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