4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
