Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
