remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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