I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
