before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She told me I should be a condom model.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
