Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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