I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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