omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
