She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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