Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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