Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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