i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
