I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
