God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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