Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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