You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We're facebook friends in real life
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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