In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize