Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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