I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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