we have officially lost it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We have so much sex to catch up on
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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