Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
and i looked up. we had an audience...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
