Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i need an iv and a liver transplant
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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