I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
