McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
